Andrea's Film Monologues
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As Good As It Gets
By: James Brooks
Melvin Udall: Never, never, interrupt me, okay?
Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and
one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying
human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so
thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or,
if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some
fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the
United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want
someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not
for ANY reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
Simon Bishop (Greg Kinnear): It's not a subtle point that you're
making.